In the world there are a huge number of families that have split up and children that suffer from it. They grow up, and occasionally become “damaged goods”. It sounds severe, but it really just means that they aren’t quite stable, and when you’re looking for serious relationships you’re bound to run across a girl who’s damaged. Especially if you live in a city the size of Toronto, it’s almost impossible to avoid them. So what are you supposed to do when you start dating one? Damaged girls require some special handling, and it’s important to avoid certain things when you’re with her.
As we mentioned, families can be the root of all evil when it comes to damaged girls. They might have daddy issues, mommy issues, didn’t feel loved or appreciated growing up, or maybe they were the ones that caused the issues and are paying for it now. As a natural progression, relationships sort of evolve into becoming more solid and eventually require the approval of the family members from each side. Well that’s okay if you have to avoid them, right? Just don’t go calling for dinner. It’s much worse than that. Even the mention of her family members or their past might send her into an angry rage. Questions about siblings and what her parents do for living are normal and natural conversation starters, but it can be scary when you step into that hidden trap. Beyond that, she might be completely disconnected with her family or still have contact with them, but totally doesn’t want to. You might be stuck between a rock and a hard place since they may want to meet you and she wants to stay away. Since she is so sensitive about this, even your family can set her off. Having her over for gatherings or holidays won’t seem like a big deal while you’re there, but as soon as the car door closes she’ll be in tears or giving you the silent treatment. Really all it will lead to is you being in trouble for something you have no control over. Explain to your family that she has some troubles with her own and it’s really difficult for her to make it to see them since it brings up bad memories for her. Hopefully they’ll understand.
Most people already think of jealousy as a factor when looking for a serious relationship. But when you’re dating a woman from these websites who needs some special attention, be prepared for it in tenfold. If your girlfriend has been cheated on in the past or had critical guys who insulted her (she’s too fat, too nosy, doesn’t have sex enough) she might be more inclined to get jealous over you. She’s insecure now and is always afraid that you’re only with her because you feel bad for her or something like that. Even though there is absolutely nothing to support this, she will believe it whole-heartedly. This also makes it a huge pain in the ass if you happen to have any female friends. They will immediately be looked at as your side girl, and you will constantly have to defend your friendship.You can try to ease her worry by inviting her to hang out with the two of you, but she’ll think you’re just trying to trick her and feel like the third wheel, so you shouldn’t really bother.
Women today are insecure about their bodies even when they don’t need to be. It’s partially because of the media and partially because of the people that surround them. At some point in time she may have had a family member that told her she was too ugly and wouldn’t ever get a boyfriend or that she was a lesbian in hiding. Comments like this will never make her feel wanted, and the rest of the men that sleep with her will have to deal with that and comfort her. The constant pressure to make her feel sexy and wanted can get to a guy, and if you start pushing her to just get over it and have sex, she will be very upset. There’s nothing more scarring than being pushed too fast into having sex; women remember these things for years to come. Even if you don’t mean to push her, she might think of those extra long kisses or the grabbing of her ass as a way to try and get her in bed faster than she wants to. Just be wary of her body language. She might not being saying “no”, but if she looks less than excited, double check with her. Say something very sincere once or twice (i.e. “I really don’t want to do this unless I know you do too. I care about you too much to hurt you.”) And if she still seems like a dead fish, then just kiss her a lot and say that you can try again another time. She may be upset by this, but it’s a whole lot better than making the situation worse.
With all of the issues that people seem to foster, there’s more sensitive subjects out there than can be counted. Even if whatever she is having a hard time dealing with seems silly to you, be sensitive to it and don’t make fun of her. When you’re looking for a serious relationship and finally find one, you’re telling her that you’re going to be there for her and respect her. So her weird stigma against a certain type and color of a car might be hard to deal with; get over it. You won’t know how she feels about that and you never can. Maybe dealing with a damaged girl is too much for you. If you really can’t handle it then break-up with her. It’s better to end it before it drags on too far or you may be one of the guys that damages her a little bit more, and the next guy along is going to have to deal with that. The best way to try and make it work is to be open and honest with each other.